Summer in Seaside Heights

I recently stumbled upon an appalling, fascinating spectacle: the new MTV reality show “Jersey Shore. If you haven't watched it yet, don't. It's pretty awful. But what I find interesting about the show (for about five minutes, anyway) is the cadence and rhythm of the characters' speech, and their often startling choice of words. Pauly D, "The Situation," and the whole gang have a colorful way of speaking that their west-coast counterparts, on equally bad MTV reality shows, just don't have. This is a “found poem,” full of actual quotes from the show. With thanks (and apologies) to E.E. Cummings and the good people of New Jersey for the inspiration.

I’m beatin’ up the beat
that’s what we say
When we’re doin’ our fist pump
I mean this situation is gonna be indescribable
You can’t even describe the situation that you’re about to get

Don’t get the spins. Seriously.

I’m gonna break it down dancing
I love the beats
I got my creepy patent move
We’re bangin’ it as the beat builds

G.T.L., baby. Gym, tanning, laundry.

Listen let’s go back to the house and get some pizza