Shelter
When we were living in Napa and the boys were very young, David had to travel a lot for work, which wasn't much fun for him or me. I went through a difficult time—maybe it was post-partum depression, or a spiritual crisis, or probably both, but it was a period of several months in which I felt overwhelmed during the day and fearful at night. When the sun went down and I put the kids to bed, I felt like something dark and cold had descended on me; at night I was uneasy in our house and literally afraid to go downstairs. The verse “you shall not be afraid of any terror by night” resonated with me; I clung to this psalm as my mantra, and made it through those months (which is another story for another day). Some of you may see this as a purely psychological coping mechanism, but I believe there was—and is—something much more powerful at work.
O God
Whether it is a bright serene Sunday
like today
or a night in which the cold, corporeal darkness
comes and sits on my chest
like that one
Let me not forget
to seek your shelter
and stay in your shadow